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Saturday, March 29, 2008

One Two Three 

Thinking up a good idea is just part of the movie battle—what to do with the idea is the tough part.

Ashwani Dhir's One Two Three (takes the prize for unimaginative title) is about three disparate men with the same name—Laxmi Narayan, who check into the same hotel and cause major confusion.

The situation is rife for a really good comedy of errors, but Dhir is quite content to dip into a bag of vulgarities and turn out a cringe-making film, instead of a funny one—his inspiration clearly being Kya Kool Hain Hum rather than a clean comedy like Angoor.

When one of the three Laxmi Narayans (Paresh Rawal) is a lingerie salesman, it is obvious which track the film is going to move on. It's a miracle that Rawal manages to lend a certain befuddled simplicity to the character, who, due a mix-up at the hotel's reception desk, thinks he is meeting a lingerie designer, but the girl (Sameera Reddy—no improvement) thinks he has come to look at a car he intends to buy. The barrage of double entendre that follows is not even remotely amusing.

One of the Laxmi Narayans (Tussar Kapoor) is an aspiring gangster, who, gets the picture of the lingerie designer (Esha Deol), instead of the don (Mukesh Tiwari) he is supposed to kill. And the don, captures the third Laxmi Nayaran (Suniel Shetty), thinking he is the hitman sent to shoot him.

On paper, it sounds better than it is, but on film, it's exasperating, because Dhir had gone overboard in trying to make all the characters weird. Like the don adds an 's' to every word, the Suniel Shetty fellow is a moron who asks too many questions, there's one henchman who talks like old actor Jeevan, another who lisps and enough gay jokes to invite a lawsuit from the alternate sexuality lobby!

There's a Haryanvi female cop (Neetu Chandra), who is no better than an item girl for all the footage she gets, and Upen Patel-Tanisha are reduced to junior artistes.


Dhir ends the film in Priyadarshan fashion with all the characters – too many of them—gathering at one place and squabbling over a stolen diamond.

The checklist would read 'not applicable' for performances, music, camerawork, etc. A few chuckles, few and far between, may not be worth the price of a ticket.

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Race 

It's no wonder stars of Race talk mostly about their styling in their many interviews—that's all there is to say.

They all have to dress nattily, and strut around on swanky South African locations, trying to look cool; every once in a while, they break into sexy song-and-dance numbers—acting displays if any, are purely accidental.

Race is the kind of suspense thriller Abbas-Mustan have been making of late, some like Ajnabee have worked, others like Naqaab haven't—the kind of film in which all the characters are greedy and venal, and thoroughly despicable, so the viewer would find it tough to root for any one.

Ranbir (Saif Ali Khan) is a Durban stud-farm owner and Rajeev (Akshaye Khanna) his alcoholic brother. When Rajeev falls for his brother's girlfriend Sonia (Bipasha Basu), Ranbir sacrifices his love, but the actual game plan turns out to be quite different. The fourth pawn on the chessboard is Ranbir's secretary Sophia (Katrina Kaif).

There is endless scheming and plotting, at some point there's a murder, and an Inspector Robert D'Costa (Anil Kapoor) jumps into the picture, eating fruit all the time, accompanied by his dumb assistant Mini (Sameera Reddy). Inspired by the old serial Karamchand, this cop tries too hard to be funny and succeeds only in being vulgar.

To their credit, even with a too-convoluted script, which stops making sense the minute you stop to think, Abbas-Mustan do throw up a few surprises and unexpected twists. It takes patience to view, because all the skeins they unravel, need knitting again with rambling explanations, flashbacks and, of course, song breaks.

Abbas-Mustan have modest aims, they don't strive for originality or even extravagant creativity—it's enough to collect stars together, add a dash of glamour and hope the package works. If the audience is in a particularly undemanding mood, it does.
It's not so much a race as a game of chance.

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