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Saturday, June 13, 2015

Hamari Adhuri Kahani 


Complete Mess


A woman walking out on a man who has expressed his love for her, drags her suitcase and walks down the desert in Dubai, and one wonders, why didn’t she call a cab or take the metro? Hamari Adhuri Kahani is full of such insane scenes and the most florid lines heard in a movie since Kader Khan retired.


Mohit Suri had somehow inherited from his uncle Mahesh Bhatt the mantle of making love stories involving damaged or in some way abnormal people.  Strangely, even the ghastly Ashiqui 2 and Ek Villain did well, but Hamari Adhuri Kahani, written by Bhatt goes into the ‘so awful it has to be seen to believed’ category.


Not since the Southern melodramas of the eighties and nineties, has one seen a scene in which a woman runs across a rangoli that she has made, to rush to her room,clutch at her mangalsutra and cry, all because a good man told her he loves her, and she weeps because she is married to a horrible man she hasn’t seen in five years.


Vasudha (Vidya Balan) was forced to marry Hari (Rajkummar Rao), because of ‘sanskar’ and ‘parampara’ and he is a psycho who forces her to get a tattoo of his name on her arm, to seal the ‘saat janam’ deal. Her mother-in-law (Suhasini Mulay) tells her to throw away the mangalsutra and get a life after the husband disappears, but she is hung up on tradition. There is also a son, to whom she sends gifts and letters in the absent father’s name.
                                                                                                                                                
Rich hotelier Aarav (Emraan Hashmi), who owns 108 hotels but no home, falls in love with Vasudha because she reminds him of his mother (Amala Akkineni), in a case of the Oedipal Complex that should have taken him into a psychiatric ward. The mother also struggled to raise him after her husband abandoned them.  Vasudha’s mangalsutra is dropped only when Aarav takes her to meet his mother, who is looking after a comatose second husband, because love is a responsibility or some such. Vasudha promptly falls into Aarav’s arms now madly in love.  Huh?


Then Hari returns and crazier things happen. Everyone in the film is constantly on the verge of hysteria, one feels sorry for the cop (Narendra Jha) and Aarav’s devoted assistant (Prabal Panjabi), who at least have the sense to be outraged by the goings-on.


Vidya Balan is reduced to a crying machine; Emran Hashmi looks alternately bored and befuddled and Rajkummar Rao gets nothing to do.


Today, any film in which a woman calls herself a man’s ‘milqiyat’ deserves to be laughed off the screen.





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Sunday, June 07, 2015

Dil Dhadakne Do 

Poor Rich People
  
Bollywood should know a bit about hypocrisy—the all-is-well attitude on the outside, while underneath is the misery, the bad marriages, the wheeling-dealing, affairs, heartbreak, vicious gossip;  wives who endure humiliation because they have nowhere to go, or don’t want to give up the good life.  Zoya Akhtar, an industry kid herself, transplants these stories on to a cruise ship populated by Delhi high society, that can win the hypocrisy sweepstakes any day.

For the not-so-rich, there is vicarious thrill in being told that money and designer togs can’t buy happiness, and watching despair unfold on a luxury cruise and exotic locations. For the designer togs wearers crowding a South Mumbai multiplex, maybe there is some identification with the characters on screen.  Otherwise, all that sheen just covers a thin plot, trying to be progressive, but showing its conservative roots. A dog called Pluto (voiced by Aamir Khan) is the observer of this human mess and commentator (Javed Akhtar’s words).


Self-made industrialist Kamal Mehra is facing a cash crunch, but to keep up pretenses, he still goes ahead with a cruise to celebrate the 30th anniversary of his marriage with Neelam (Shefali Shah). Love has flown out of the relationship—he has his affairs that everyone knows and bitches about; she pretends nothing is wrong. They have pushed their daughter Ayesha (Priyanka Chopra) into an arranged marriage with the pompous Manav (Rahul Bose) and believe that a child will solve all their incompatibility problems.  Ayesha has worked to set up her own business, but gets no appreciation for it.  When the cards for the anniversary cruise go out, her name is not even there, her brother Kabir’s (Ranveer Singh) is, because she is “no longer a Mehra.”  Kabir is a happy-go-lucky guy, more interested in flying than in his father’s business, but as the designated heir, he has to take it over.

With all this baggage the Mehras and their friends board the cruise liner. The matrons gossip and match-make; the supposedly happy couples bicker, Kabir is being ‘fixed up’ with a rich girl Noorie (Riddhima Sud) to seal a business deal with her father, while he falls in love with a dancer Farah (Anushka Sharma) with the ship’s entertainment crew.  Meanwhile Noorie has a romance going on with the son (Vikrant Massey) of her father’s enemy. During the journey and around the time the love of her life, Sunny (Farhan Akhtar) arrives, Ayesha throws a bomb by demanding a divorce from Manav, and is given the full ‘khandaan ki izzat’ lecture.  All this sounds so last century-- even though there is still a kind of resistance to divorce, these well-heeled people behave as if it’s the end of the world.  The tagged on scene in which Sunny berates Manav for his chauvinism is phony and cringe-making.

The biggest problem with the film is its shallowness, its inability (or unwillingness) to dive into any emotional depths, so that you don’t care for any of the characters. Only Ranveer Singh gets to play around with some humour and utter good lines (Farhan Akhtar).  Anil Kapoor manages to make the opportunistic Kamal Mehra somewhat likeable, but the others are tepid—their look and style more watchable than their performances.

  

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