Friday, July 09, 2004
Garv
Garv: Pride and Honour
These days it has become fashionable for filmmakers to say that they work with bound scripts, and for stars to say that they only accept films after reading scripts. Then, if films like Garv: Pride and Honour keep popping up, you just have to marvel at the script sense of filmmakers and stars!
If any person with half a brain were told a story about a cop up against a politician-gangster nexus, they’d start walking away. If they were told, hey wait, there’s a sister angle too, and a Hindu-Muslim brotherhood track too, and a courtroom drama… they’d run the other way as fast as their legs would carry them. Amazing, that Punit Isarr actually gets to make Garv with a Salman Khan!
The film begins with ACP Arjun Ranawat (Salman Khan) being taken to court, accused of the murder of 18 people. You don’t even have to see the rest of the film to know what brings him to this point. Arjun refuses to speak and pleads for a death penalty.
Flashback to Arjun killing a vicious pimp and almost being lynched by his superiors (why?). The commissioner (Amrish Puri) then asks the chief minister to sanction an encounter squad. “Encounter?” says the CM puzzled. He obviously doesn’t read papers or see Ram Gopal Varma films.
The squad is formed with Arjun and Hyder Ali (Arbaaz Khan) as leaders and they go about exterminating gangsters without anyone batting an eyelid! But of course Zafar Supari (Mukesh Rishi), the Don in Dubai (thinly veiled reference to you-know-who) gets rattled, gets the government changed, installs his puppet (Govind Namdeo) as CM, and replaces the good commissioner with one of his own men (Shivaji Satam). Strangely, his power doesn’t extend to getting the Special Squad disbanded.
The new commissioner tries to break up the team by accusing Hyder Ali of communalism and fails. Zafar actually sneaks into India with tons of RDX and lures Hyder into a trap. Odd that in the days of cell phones and wireless communication, Hyder and his men don’t call for help or even inform anyone that India’s most wanted criminal is around! Hyder manages to destroy the explosives in a big bang (which doesn’t even wake up the neighbourhood cops) before dying with a patriotic speech on his lips.
All this was enough to get Arjun into a vengeful rage, but no, if there is a sister (Akanksha Malhotra), she has to get kidnapped. And the reason why he stays silent in court, is because he doesn’t want the sister’s name besmirched. It doesn’t occur to anyone to question how come Zafar was at the CM’s farmhouse where Arjun committed mass murder?
The film is full of inconsistencies and glaring loopholes. If that were not enough, there is an annoyingly dumb romance between Arjun and a bar dancer Jannat (Shilpa Shetty), who does the most vulgar dances in ultra-skimpy clothes, to songs with lyrics that describe her as “sale la maal”. Ugh! At one point Arjun tells her she looks better covered up. Cut to her dancing with him in even tinier clothes. Besides, why doesn’t anyone tell him to wear a shirt! Salman is so fond of showing his torso, that following the scene in which he is savagely beaten, his skin doesn’t even show a bruise, leave aside welts or wounds!
Violent to the point of being revolting— bullets going through people’s heads, bones being broken, and so on-- Garv has no novelty and absolutely nothing to commend it for. Salman Khan dominates the proceedings, doing little more that scowling and speaking his lines funnily-- mumbling through clenched teeth. Watching such a movie is not entertainment, its punishment!
These days it has become fashionable for filmmakers to say that they work with bound scripts, and for stars to say that they only accept films after reading scripts. Then, if films like Garv: Pride and Honour keep popping up, you just have to marvel at the script sense of filmmakers and stars!
If any person with half a brain were told a story about a cop up against a politician-gangster nexus, they’d start walking away. If they were told, hey wait, there’s a sister angle too, and a Hindu-Muslim brotherhood track too, and a courtroom drama… they’d run the other way as fast as their legs would carry them. Amazing, that Punit Isarr actually gets to make Garv with a Salman Khan!
The film begins with ACP Arjun Ranawat (Salman Khan) being taken to court, accused of the murder of 18 people. You don’t even have to see the rest of the film to know what brings him to this point. Arjun refuses to speak and pleads for a death penalty.
Flashback to Arjun killing a vicious pimp and almost being lynched by his superiors (why?). The commissioner (Amrish Puri) then asks the chief minister to sanction an encounter squad. “Encounter?” says the CM puzzled. He obviously doesn’t read papers or see Ram Gopal Varma films.
The squad is formed with Arjun and Hyder Ali (Arbaaz Khan) as leaders and they go about exterminating gangsters without anyone batting an eyelid! But of course Zafar Supari (Mukesh Rishi), the Don in Dubai (thinly veiled reference to you-know-who) gets rattled, gets the government changed, installs his puppet (Govind Namdeo) as CM, and replaces the good commissioner with one of his own men (Shivaji Satam). Strangely, his power doesn’t extend to getting the Special Squad disbanded.
The new commissioner tries to break up the team by accusing Hyder Ali of communalism and fails. Zafar actually sneaks into India with tons of RDX and lures Hyder into a trap. Odd that in the days of cell phones and wireless communication, Hyder and his men don’t call for help or even inform anyone that India’s most wanted criminal is around! Hyder manages to destroy the explosives in a big bang (which doesn’t even wake up the neighbourhood cops) before dying with a patriotic speech on his lips.
All this was enough to get Arjun into a vengeful rage, but no, if there is a sister (Akanksha Malhotra), she has to get kidnapped. And the reason why he stays silent in court, is because he doesn’t want the sister’s name besmirched. It doesn’t occur to anyone to question how come Zafar was at the CM’s farmhouse where Arjun committed mass murder?
The film is full of inconsistencies and glaring loopholes. If that were not enough, there is an annoyingly dumb romance between Arjun and a bar dancer Jannat (Shilpa Shetty), who does the most vulgar dances in ultra-skimpy clothes, to songs with lyrics that describe her as “sale la maal”. Ugh! At one point Arjun tells her she looks better covered up. Cut to her dancing with him in even tinier clothes. Besides, why doesn’t anyone tell him to wear a shirt! Salman is so fond of showing his torso, that following the scene in which he is savagely beaten, his skin doesn’t even show a bruise, leave aside welts or wounds!
Violent to the point of being revolting— bullets going through people’s heads, bones being broken, and so on-- Garv has no novelty and absolutely nothing to commend it for. Salman Khan dominates the proceedings, doing little more that scowling and speaking his lines funnily-- mumbling through clenched teeth. Watching such a movie is not entertainment, its punishment!
Labels: Cinemaah
Hyd and Other Blues
Hyderabad Blues 2 : Rearranged Marriage
Sometimes sequels work, mostly they don’t. The memory of the original film is so strong in the mind of the viewer that the sequel invariably impinges on it.
The charm of Nagesh Kukunoo’s Hyderabad Blues lay in its rawness and honesty. While there was a certain impish innocence in the crudeness of the original, in Hyderabad Blues 2: Rearranged Marriage, the jokes seem stale and the humour contrived.
It begins with a truly funny scene of Varun (Nagesh Kukunoor), waking up to the tinny sound of bhajans from a roadside shrine. You’d think six years after this American desi returned home to Hyderabad and settled down with the girl he loved, Ashwini (Jyoti Dogra), he’d have got used to this typically Indian alarm system. But Varun’s American accent is still in place and so is his very Western aversion to starting a family.
His friends are still the same bunch of layabouts, who drink and gamble and ogle at girls. Though best buddy Sanjeev (Vikram Inamdar) has settled into a kind of domestic bliss with Seema (Elahe Hiptoola) and two kids.
Varun has a successful career and a happy marriage, but something is still not quite right. Ashwini has a thriving medical career too, but she wants a kid. Into the existing – and frankly quiet tedious for the viewer—stalemate comes temptess Menka (Tisca Arora), who, without even having an affair with Varun manages to break his marriage.
In Hyderabad Blues, you cared for the characters and their problems—insignificant though they may have been—because they were so real. In the sequel, the same characters look jaded, whiny and exasperating. The pallu-dropping, sex guru ‘Aunty’ now palls as much as the new addition, Aswini’s gay partner. The only characters who still appear to be true to life are Varun’s stolid parents, worried that their son’s broken marriage will affect their standing in society.
Despite the earnest performances, and decent music, this rearranged marriage is a non-starter.
Shikaar
People just don’t give up, don’t they? Despite the failure of Indian Babu, made with the express purpose of launching ex-pressionless wonder Jas Pandher into Bollywood, his fond parents produced yet another turkey, Shikaar.
This film directed by Darshan Bagga calls itself a “musical thriller” which, by their definition means that there are lots of murders and lots of songs. But whether the murders thrill or the songs are easy on the ear (or eye) is the question that needs to be answered and the answer is no!
There is this dude, called Vijay or Rohit or something (Jas Pandher) who go around dressed in awful clothes and designer glares, offering stolen cars and even a Mussourie hotel to a bunch of villains—Danny Denzongpa, Prem Chopra, Shakti Kapoor and gang.
He romances and marries the owner of the hotel, so there are three women in all to perform the many dance numbers, the other two being femme fatales Shweta Menon and Saadhika.
Once they get there, a series of murders is committed by a man in black coat. An worried inspector with a bad memory (Raj Babbar) hangs around till the mystery solves itself—and you can see it coming from a mile.
The film is so terrible that it is amusing, and you actually feel sorry for actors like Danny Denzongpa and Raj Babbar doing such bottom of the barrel stuff.
Chale Chalo: The Lunacy of Film-making
About three years after Lagaan, comes Satyajit Bhatkal’s documentary Chale Chalo: The Lunacy of Film-making, about the making of the film. And it either an act of courage or self-delusion to actually release a documentary in the theatres, when it was best suited for television viewing; that too by people who might have an academic interest in the behind-the-scenes activities of film production
The film is watchable, a bit too long though, and traces the journey of Lagaan, from the writing to the release and after. While the pleasures and pains of making such an offbeat film on such a large canvas are apparent, one imagines, every film has similar crises (people falling ill on location) and celebrations (difficult scenes turning out well).
Bhatkal is a lawyer who was drawn into the ‘mad’ world of filmmaking, and his sense of wonder seems a little excessive at times, but he is able to capture some great moments that may never have been revealed but for the careful recording by his camera team. Recommended for the really curious.
Thoda Tum Badlo Thoda Hum
A film made by a large production house from Hyderabd (Ushakiron Movies) and directed by a fairly well regarded Esmayeel Shroff turns out to be unbearable viewing.
Thoda Tum Badlo Thoda Hum is about neighbours Raja (Arya Babbar) and Rani (Shriya Saran), who also study in the same college and hate the sight of each other. The college, is the typical filmi college, where nobody studies and the teachers are a disgrace.
For a convoluted reason, too tedious to recount, they end up writing love letters to each other pretending to be other people. You can tell they are headed for a romance and will end up with each other, but the director inflicts as much torture as he can while taking his characters through this predictable journey.
Why, for instance, should there have been an extended flashback—songs and all—about the couple Raja-Rani (such cheesy names!) are impersonating. And once they discover the truth about each other why drag the film for another 20 minutes to reach the inevitable ending?
The performances match the dismal quality of the film, and the comedy is disgusting! Sitting through this film is akin to falling off a cliff on to a bed of cacti!
Sometimes sequels work, mostly they don’t. The memory of the original film is so strong in the mind of the viewer that the sequel invariably impinges on it.
The charm of Nagesh Kukunoo’s Hyderabad Blues lay in its rawness and honesty. While there was a certain impish innocence in the crudeness of the original, in Hyderabad Blues 2: Rearranged Marriage, the jokes seem stale and the humour contrived.
It begins with a truly funny scene of Varun (Nagesh Kukunoor), waking up to the tinny sound of bhajans from a roadside shrine. You’d think six years after this American desi returned home to Hyderabad and settled down with the girl he loved, Ashwini (Jyoti Dogra), he’d have got used to this typically Indian alarm system. But Varun’s American accent is still in place and so is his very Western aversion to starting a family.
His friends are still the same bunch of layabouts, who drink and gamble and ogle at girls. Though best buddy Sanjeev (Vikram Inamdar) has settled into a kind of domestic bliss with Seema (Elahe Hiptoola) and two kids.
Varun has a successful career and a happy marriage, but something is still not quite right. Ashwini has a thriving medical career too, but she wants a kid. Into the existing – and frankly quiet tedious for the viewer—stalemate comes temptess Menka (Tisca Arora), who, without even having an affair with Varun manages to break his marriage.
In Hyderabad Blues, you cared for the characters and their problems—insignificant though they may have been—because they were so real. In the sequel, the same characters look jaded, whiny and exasperating. The pallu-dropping, sex guru ‘Aunty’ now palls as much as the new addition, Aswini’s gay partner. The only characters who still appear to be true to life are Varun’s stolid parents, worried that their son’s broken marriage will affect their standing in society.
Despite the earnest performances, and decent music, this rearranged marriage is a non-starter.
Shikaar
People just don’t give up, don’t they? Despite the failure of Indian Babu, made with the express purpose of launching ex-pressionless wonder Jas Pandher into Bollywood, his fond parents produced yet another turkey, Shikaar.
This film directed by Darshan Bagga calls itself a “musical thriller” which, by their definition means that there are lots of murders and lots of songs. But whether the murders thrill or the songs are easy on the ear (or eye) is the question that needs to be answered and the answer is no!
There is this dude, called Vijay or Rohit or something (Jas Pandher) who go around dressed in awful clothes and designer glares, offering stolen cars and even a Mussourie hotel to a bunch of villains—Danny Denzongpa, Prem Chopra, Shakti Kapoor and gang.
He romances and marries the owner of the hotel, so there are three women in all to perform the many dance numbers, the other two being femme fatales Shweta Menon and Saadhika.
Once they get there, a series of murders is committed by a man in black coat. An worried inspector with a bad memory (Raj Babbar) hangs around till the mystery solves itself—and you can see it coming from a mile.
The film is so terrible that it is amusing, and you actually feel sorry for actors like Danny Denzongpa and Raj Babbar doing such bottom of the barrel stuff.
Chale Chalo: The Lunacy of Film-making
About three years after Lagaan, comes Satyajit Bhatkal’s documentary Chale Chalo: The Lunacy of Film-making, about the making of the film. And it either an act of courage or self-delusion to actually release a documentary in the theatres, when it was best suited for television viewing; that too by people who might have an academic interest in the behind-the-scenes activities of film production
The film is watchable, a bit too long though, and traces the journey of Lagaan, from the writing to the release and after. While the pleasures and pains of making such an offbeat film on such a large canvas are apparent, one imagines, every film has similar crises (people falling ill on location) and celebrations (difficult scenes turning out well).
Bhatkal is a lawyer who was drawn into the ‘mad’ world of filmmaking, and his sense of wonder seems a little excessive at times, but he is able to capture some great moments that may never have been revealed but for the careful recording by his camera team. Recommended for the really curious.
Thoda Tum Badlo Thoda Hum
A film made by a large production house from Hyderabd (Ushakiron Movies) and directed by a fairly well regarded Esmayeel Shroff turns out to be unbearable viewing.
Thoda Tum Badlo Thoda Hum is about neighbours Raja (Arya Babbar) and Rani (Shriya Saran), who also study in the same college and hate the sight of each other. The college, is the typical filmi college, where nobody studies and the teachers are a disgrace.
For a convoluted reason, too tedious to recount, they end up writing love letters to each other pretending to be other people. You can tell they are headed for a romance and will end up with each other, but the director inflicts as much torture as he can while taking his characters through this predictable journey.
Why, for instance, should there have been an extended flashback—songs and all—about the couple Raja-Rani (such cheesy names!) are impersonating. And once they discover the truth about each other why drag the film for another 20 minutes to reach the inevitable ending?
The performances match the dismal quality of the film, and the comedy is disgusting! Sitting through this film is akin to falling off a cliff on to a bed of cacti!
Labels: Cinemaah
