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Friday, August 13, 2004

Kyun! Ho Gaya Na.. 

Arjun believes in arranged marriages not in love. Why? Has he had a bad experience in love? No such indication. You discover this kink in his armour in a contrived scene in a pub, after which he bursts into song “Pyar mein sau uljhanein hain, pyar mat karna”. Diya believes in love, and dances somewhere else to the same song with her girl friends, who then vanish from the film.

Samir Karnik’s Kyun! Ho Gaya Na… tries to make a light soufflé out of this love vs. arranged marriage conundrum – making it out to be some extreme ideological issue—and falls totally flat.

There are a few moments of very forced humour, no emotional nuances and certainly no chemistry between the lead pair, who, try to be extra cute and end up extra irritating.

Diya (Rai) comes from Coorg to Mumbai to stay with her father’s (Tinu Anand) friend (Om Puri) and his wife (Rati Agnihotri), whose son is Arjun (Oberoi)—how come the kids of these great buddies have never met, never spoken and never even seen a photo of each other?

Anyway, after singing romantic duets all over the city, dancing, bonding, flirting, the question keeps coming back to love, which Arjun stubbornly denies. So then, why does he go to Coorg to placate an angry Diya? No clue!

Suddenly from this track the film moves to an orphanage run by a buffoonish Uncle (Amitabh Bachchan), who spends a large chunk of the second half playing pranks on kids and having pranks played on him in return. On meeting Arjun, Uncle decides that something should be done to knock sense into him -- what he does you can see coming from a mile off. Unless you have never seen a film in your life!

You can simply not figure out what the problem is – Arjun wants a girl his mother likes; mother likes Diya. She wants to marry a man she loves, and she loves Arjun. The matter could have been solved in 15 minutes and saved people the bother of sitting through another couple of hours of nonsense unfolding on screen.

Remember the Aamir Khan-Preity Zinta portion in Dil Chahta Hai? KHGN makes an entire film out of that—no wonder so much padding was needed. It also tries desperately for the ‘coolness’ of Dil Chahta Hai, but it’s no go—Vivek Oberoi (also one of the writers) remains resolutely uncool despite loopy grin and floppy hair. Aishwarya Rai is dressed, made-up and photographed so badly, it’s not funny!

Tributes to Brahmachari, Pyar Kiye Ja and the Hollywood musical (choreography of the Pyar mein number), but no real meat to the story and no freshness in the treatment. As a nod to modern times, Diya appears for exams for a social work course, but no mention of career later. Arjun does nothing at all—there is a brief glimpse of him attending office with his father. Typical filmi Never Neverland of wealthy and privileged people with nothing to do but massage their egos!

Plus points – the songs (Shankar Ehsaan Loy), a couple of them well choreographed, pretty locations; Amitabh Bachchan, who even plays his inconsequential buffoon part with such charm and conviction. All the stars of the film have been quoted as having “loved” the script. What script!!

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Kaun Hai Jo Sapno Mein Aaya 

Does the Purab-Paschim divide still exist in such a rigid form? Is it essential for Indian families who settle in the West to become uncaring, corrupt and debauched? According to our filmmakers why are all Westerners ‘bad’ people?

In the UK of Rajesh Bhatt’s Kaun Hai Jo Sapno Mein Aaya lives the Khanna family, in which nobody cares for each other. Since the grandmother (Vinita Mallik) and father (Kader Khan) seem quite nice and ‘Indian’, why has the family turned so dysfunctional? No explanations!

The only one who is decent is the youngest Khanna son, Sunny (Rakesh Bapat), who runs a flop theatre company. Into the home comes salwar-kameez clad, simpering Mahek (Richa Pallod), who feeds them aloo parathas, lectures them all on Indian culture and makes the lazy wives observe the ‘karva chauth’ fast. This is what Indian culture eventually boils down to.

Mahek also rescues Sunny’s theatre company from ruin by making him do a Hare Rama Hare Krishna musical, and he falls in love with her.

For reasons you have to see (gawdhelp!) the film to find out, Mahek cannot return Sunny’s love and the film degenerates into such heavy-duty fifties melodrama, that you wonder what the UK-based producers were thinking when they greenlighted this project!

The characters are all ancient stereotypes that portray a bad Hindi film’s idea of Westernisation – kitty party attending mother, booze-swilling daughter-in-law and her womanizing husband, their mini-skirted boyfriend-hopping daughter, and so on.

The lead pair is okay, the rest of the cast is terrible. Tedious to the extreme, Kaun Hai Jo… is a right royal nightmare!


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Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Taarzan The Wonder Car 

A car with a mind of it’s own? Funky idea, but Abbas Mustan’s Taarzan The Wonder Car is a heavy revenge drama, rather than a frothy comedy like the series featuring the cute Volkswagen ‘Herbie’, or the all time kiddie favourite Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

The violence and morbidity makes it unhealthy for kids – though they will like the car’s almost human antics--and it is much to juvenile for adults to enjoy. A neither here-nor-there film, but at least a bit off the beaten track.

Car designer Deven (Ajay Devgan in a special appearance) is killed by five villains and his designs for a futuristic car stolen. Then this aspect of the plot is promptly forgotten, because that car never seems to make an appearance on the road.

Years later, Deven’s son Raj (Vatsal Sheth)- -college student and part time mechanic, finds the wreck of his father’s car and rebuilds it using that design. As he romances fellow student Priya (Ayesha Takia), the ‘wonder car’ tracks down the villains and kills them one by one.

After the first two murders, the shock and novelty value of the driverless car chasing and killing people wears out, and then the remaining murders stretch the film out beyond boredom point.

Abbas Mustan stuff the film with every character actor available—from Amrish Puri (Raj’s boss at the garage) downwards. And there are some weak attempts at humour (including some double meaning lines), but on the whole, tone of the film remains ponderous.

The car looks like a garish horror no classy person would be seen dead in, but some of the special effects – like the car repairing itself after a battering---are not bad at all.

Of the two newcomers, Vatsal Sheth is earnest; Ayesha Takia’s skimpy wardrobe and harsh voice take away from the freshness a new actress should be able to convey.

Once again the point comes up that filmmakers should reconsider the three-hour running time of commercial Hindi films. If Taarzan were a 90 minutes long, it would have been fast paced and entertaining— an action adventure going over this limit is as uncomfortable as a ride on a pot-holed highway.







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