Saturday, August 10, 2013
Chennai Express
Laughter Challenged
Chennai Express doesn’t need
a review. People who want to see it, will see it in spite of a pan; people who
don’t want to, will not, in spite of a rave. Plot synopsis
in short, Rahul tries to rescue Meenamma from goons, ends up in her
village, gets into trouble with her Don Dad, and after some escapades falls in
love with her.
So now, some random stuff:
The loudest applause in the cinema comes when
Rajnikant’s name or picture appears on screen. So one of Bollywood’s biggest
stars has to hitch a ride on the Southern star’s fan wagon?
The prologue is too long and boring, that ends
with Rahul (naam to suna hoga?) getting on a train to immerse his
grand-dad’s ashes at Rameswaram. Why? Just! He intends to get off at Goa and pick up “NRI”
girls with is buddies. FYI, he is 40 and single. He is not pretending to be 18, which is good.
Rahul sees a girl running to catch the train
and pulls her in (DDLJ moment # 1, followed by several). He also pulls
in four dark, burly goons. Why? Just! Turns out they are kidnapping Meenamma
and taking her back to her village to marry another dark, burly goon. So why
was she running towards the Chennai-bound train? Just!
They end up at her village, where her father
(Satyaraj) is the Don. They are several dark, burly goons hanging around, and
several sickles stuck on coconuts, but the interloper is spared. Why? Just!
After a lot of to-ing and fro-ing, that
involves a totally pointless scene with a mute midget, Rahul and Meenamma
escape to a pretty village that hasn’t heard of the scandal of Bombay Boy’s Escape
with Don’s Daughter, but, according to a passing truck driver, the entire South
has, and is looking for Bombay Boy to behead him.
In the pretty village, they pretend to be
newly wed. Meenamma gets the film’s second funny scene (her nightmare sequence)
and then gets all coy and wife-like. Rahul still has some scenes to go before
he grows up.
DDLJ wrap up (not a spoiler for Indian
moviegoer): Rahul cannot marry Meenamma without Dad’s approval, and has to fight
burly goon fiancé, because in keeping with the great Indian tradition, the
father will give away his daughter to a Real Man. That is, one who can beat his
rival to pulp.
The question is, why should Shah Rukh Khan,
sitting right up at the Bollywood peak, want to slide down and do such an awful
film. Maybe because he needs to check on his fan following, since the stall
guys love Salman, the balcony guys love Aamir and everyone else loves Ranbir
Kapoor. So instead of growing up, Rahul dumbs down. Which is a
pity, because proudly critic-proof Rohit Shetty is incapable of bringing on to
the screen Shah Rukh Khan’s talent, wit, intelligence and, yes, experience. Chennai
Express may make 100 crores, but it still insults the audience and tarnishes
SRK’s superstardom.
Deepika Padukone understands the silliness of
the film, and acts accordingly— in the end, she is the only saving grace.
Somebody give her an award!
Labels: Cinemaah
